Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

An appreciation of my father

July 1, 2009 Leave a comment

Father’s day got me thinking: any time I see or speak to my mother, I tell her that I love her.  I am ashamed to write that I don’t do the same with my father because, in my little mind, I expect him to KNOW. Why?

I love my father very dearly and we have a great relationship.  HNew Picturee taught me a lot and taught me well.  His mother (Nana, hope you are sleeping well) raised him on her own and life was tough for them but he uses that as a motivator, not a hindrance, in his life.  He and my mother instilled in us the values and discipline we needed to guide us through life and encouraged us to take  responsibility for our actions. I never wanted to go to school but my father (aka the fountain of wisdom) would tell me,  “There will come a time when I can no longer protect you. These values and knowledge will be your weapon in life. So as long as you live in my house, you live by my rules.”  Now I’m all grown up and I just can’t stop studying – always have to be reading something. My dad now pokes fun at me for this 😆

I only began to appreciate my father’s lectures when I became an adult.  They have been a guiding force in my life. I have made some really awful decisions but by holding myself accountable and learning from my mistakes, I’m constantly growing as a human being.

As one of my wise friends reminded me, fathers also need to be told that they are loved and appreciated and not just on Father’s Day. I will tell my father,  more often, that I love him.


Debates – agreeing to disagree?

April 18, 2009 Leave a comment

I was having a discussion with a friend. The discussion turned into a debate which got rather heated and I suggested that we agree to disagree but he refused. He got annoyed and yelled at me. I calmly told him that I would speak to him when he has calmed down and as I walked away, he said that I lacked passion.  Later on when he had calmed down he explained that his reason for saying that was that he expected me to shout back at him and make my point because doing that shows passion. I did not know what to say to that because his explanation did not make sense to me.  Once a debate gets to the point where people are shouting at each other, it is no longer a debate. It becomes an argument.

When I’m having a debate and it gets heated, then that’s a sign that it’s time to stop so I agree to disagree.   Having a debate is not about forcing my views on the opposing side or the opposing side forcing their views on me. It’s about explaining why we have the views that we do on a particular topic.  Shouting does not makes one’s point any more valid. In my opinion, people who start shouting during a debate are either trying to detract from the fact that they have no valid points to support their stance or they are immature and have no business entering a debate with anyone.